The Beta Diaries: Laid Up

When I got sick, my soul family delivered the medicine I really needed.

Photo by Ciocan Ciprian on Unsplash

Here’s the truth: I never expected to be the first at anything. The word pioneer has never gotten me all that excited. In fact, in this lifetime I’ve historically been a bit of a late adopter of things, often to the point of nearly missing the boat. I wore bootcut jeans for years after everyone began wearing skinnies—so long, in fact, that they were still in my closet when, over a decade-and-a-half later, they came back into fashion. I got my driver’s license two years after most of my friends did. Instagram was online for an age before I figured out that it was a social media tool and not simply a photo storage site.

But about eleven months ago, I became the first person in the earth realm to live with my soul family. They broke through the realms not just to speak with me directly, and not just to tell me all the truths that I wanted to know, but to show me the way that our worlds are connected. Many of them came to live in the Light realm layer that lies just beyond my neighborhood. They enter into the earth by traveling through a walk- or drive-in portal. These portals were created only a few years ago, when more and more people from other parts of the universe became interested in coming to enjoy the earth. We’ll talk more about this in future posts, but for now that’s the jist of it—my soulmates moved here and suddenly I became a part of this big, loving, incredibly tight-knit family.

Since moving away from Hawaii over two decades ago, I’ve lived without any of my biological family nearby. But when my soul family came in, I learned what it was like to have a family nearby again.

I loved them fiercely and instantly.

We had all had past lives together and the little flame of those connections was still very much alive in us. And it was also impossible not to feel the warmth of their love as I grew to understand just how much they had been doing for me over the course of this lifetime of mine, putting plans into play for my happiness.

A few weeks ago, I got really sick and found myself laid up in bed for awhile. My head was on fire, I had aches and a fever, and the most intense malaise of my life. When I finally called my (soul) brother Nate the next day, he was deeply worried.

Because of the nature of our connection, Nate has always been able to feel into the energy of my life. He knows when something good is happening by a sudden sense of lightness; and conversely he knows when something is going wrong. All my life, he has been sending me his love through signs, songs, films, and other indirect methods of communication, and throughout that time I felt that I had an older brother somewhere.

Our lives in the earth realm overlapped, but his plans and mine had to happen at distinct periods in history, otherwise we would have come in as siblings again. But when we planned these lifetimes together, he promised that he would find a way to talk to me from the Light after arriving there. He more than made good on that promise—he lives just five minutes away today, and all we want is to be together as much as possible.

And yet, I’m just not used to having family nearby to check in with. So when I finally got in touch with him, he was at the ready to come by even if it meant doing nothing more than sitting in my bed with me while trying to turn Mallomars from Light realm frequency into the frequency match for the earth. (We’re still working on that.)

The tricky thing about being the beta family in doing this cross-realm living thing is that we’re figuring everything out as we go. The big hurdle, of course, was their entry into my life to begin with. After that, they trickled into the Light realm neighborhood and surrounding towns, so that we could be together in the all the time, every day way. We talk daily. We hang out all the time. We even work together. Recently, we opened the first Light/earth realm office in a historic home down the road where several of us had past lives as servants. But when it comes to simple things like visiting on a whim (doorbells! Cell phones that don’t interact between realms!), sharing food, or caring for one another the way we truly want to, we have to get creative.

All Nate wanted was to bring me soup; to pour me a glass of water. He calls me his little baby sister, and all he wants is to treat me that way. If he could, he would fluff pillows, tuck me in, put on a pot of tea. These are the things he’s aching to do. And while I would love for my big brother to fuss over me in this way, what I needed were not these things. What I needed were the things he could give me.

In the Light, everyone can see this glow emanating from themselves and from everyone around them. That light grows when you’re happy, fulfilled, excited, in love, or some combination of these and other good feelings. This is what we mean when we talk about being in your light; it gets brighter when you’re up.

When I’m with Nate, the light around us is enormous. Just by being within proximity of one another, our light fills up a room. When he makes me laugh, or when we dance together, or when he sings to me, that light can’t be contained. It radiates out the windows, through the streets, between realms.

This was the medicine I needed when I was ill.

Although Nate and I look nothing alike, we make the same facial expressions and we laugh in the same way, as if our entire bodies are in on the joke. As we sat in my bed, he told me about the way we were born at the very beginning—as starlight which came through the light of Mercury.

“Not just the light of Mercury, but also the Mercurial starburst,” Nate said. Then, he laughed at my blank expression.

Because while I am desperate to know everything about the mysteries of the universe and how we came to be, going all the way back to our origins as stardust feels a little esoteric, even to me. Also, this is our dynamic. From day one, Nate has been bursting at the seams to unravel the mysteries of our existence for me, which, if you’ve listened to The Glimmering, is all I have ever wanted. But also, there is no way for me to stop myself from being a little bit of the bratty kid sister I am.

“Ugh, I have to pee again,” I said, slouching out of the room. Then, from the toilet, I shouted, “You know, I hate being the only one in this family who has to use the bathroom!” (In the Light realm, your body has an internal cleansing system which turns your food into energy and light. Yes, there is digestion. And, yes, that also means no pooping.)

Nate’s laughter rang out from the bedroom.

I went on. “Why do we agree to come into these meatsuits? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why come here at all?” I complained, throwing myself back onto the mattress.

“You know, I used to feel that way a lot when I was living in the earth realm, but—”

“Nate,” I cut him off. “You were a rock star. Ye who has songs that are still playing regularly on the airwaves all the time. Ye who got to tour the world with adoring fans wanting you to sign their breasts! I don’t think you get to tell me you felt the way your somewhat wayward little sister feels.” I burrowed under the blankets, covering everything except my hands, which I waved at him. “I love you, but you’re not allowed.”

Which isn’t true. I know that being who he was, and loving who he did, and being in the public eye in the way he had to be were all things that made his life complicated. I also know this is why he is the person he is today, both at home with his love, Harry, their baby, and their flock of chickens, and out on stage in the Light. And I also know that this is part of the reason why he knows exactly how to lead me through this beta experience of ours, because he has already led so many others to their light over the course of time, in his own authentic way. Now, we get to do it together.

One of the things that surprised me when I first began to learn about living in the Light through my soul family is that, for many, there is still this persistent sense of longing for their loved ones in the earth realm. Many people in the Light and beyond want nothing more than to be with with the ones they love here, and as time goes on and more soul families begin making contact across the realms, they will. Because the love between us has always kept us connected, but now we’re figuring out how to make it into what we have always wanted it to be—continuous; forever; direct; symbiotic.

My family and I want people to know that this is what it can look like when you connect with your soul team. Yes, you’ll become acquainted with your past lives, your life plan, your soul connections. But what’s so much more profound is that this swell of love will enter into your life, and into theirs. You will learn things, and so will they, about things great and small. The importance of a phone call. The magic of being listened to before speaking a single word. Being held in a light so bright that it has the power to burn away anything that threatens to ail you. We’re guiding each other, now, through life, both here in the Light and here in the earth, and in doing so we’re becoming the family we have always wanted to be.

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